Fear Is A Lie!

It has been forever since I've written here, but I'm committed to being better about my blog writing and have been on a poetry kick lately, so here's one I recently wrote about fear:

Fear is a lie we choose to believe. Because fear thrives inside of you and of me.

It robs us of life, and so many great things, when we stay inside and knowingly clip our own wings.

And we think that our fear is what keeps us so safe, telling us not to attempt anything great.

It’s safer to swim in the waters we know, then to venture to oceans or caves down below.

And it’s better and practical, even admired, to stay in a job where we are uninspired.

After all, we worked so hard just to be hired. But what happens when eventually, we hope to be fired?

We hope this because change requires a voice, and if it was forced, we would not have a choice.

It often seems better to stay then to lose, because fear keeps us there when we know we must choose.

The grass isn’t greener on certain sides, but what happens when you don’t see it with your own eyes?

When you don’t make mistakes or try something new, you will never know the joy that could be waiting for you.

Life is a sum of the chances we take, and there will always be choices that we must make.

But if we listen to voices inside our minds, telling us to have fear and stay afraid all the time, then we’ll never know just how far we can go, or the limitless options of things we can know.

And we’ll never know all the people we’ll miss, by not saying hello and keeping pursed lips.

And we won’t know what it’s like to feel very afraid and stand outside our comfort zones in an uncomfortable way.

And it sounds awful, it is, standing outside, but your zone will expand if you don’t tuck tail and hide.

And take it from me, the worst kind of afraid is the kind where you keep silent when there is much to say.

Because fear robs your joy and it steals all your thunder and if you let it, one day you will start to wonder:

What if you were younger in this day and age? Knowing all you know now would you still be afraid?

Would you be afraid to stand out on your first day of school? Would you color in the lines, or would you break a few rules?

Would you be afraid the first time you went on a date? Would you kiss him or her, or would you still hesitate?

What if you had to pass your driving test again? Would you be as nervous and scared as you were back then?

I doubt these things that were once so scary, strike fear in your heart. But imagine if you never stood up to start.

What if you had let fear dictate your moves? What would you have missed when you had nothing to lose?

I implore you to sucker-punch fear in the face and live in a way that makes you unafraid, to color beyond lines you’ve never missed, to go out on a date and give them a kiss, to drive for as long and far as you wish, and live life as if fear doesn’t exist.

Have a wonderful day! 

Limitless

It's a safe place. If you keep your head down, do what you have to do and learn not to question things, it's secure. It goes around and around like a Ferris Wheel that no one dares to step off of. If you stay long enough, it will become unchanged. You'll know what to expect today, tomorrow, and next week. The same old people, the same dry stories, the same routine. The years will come and go, the faces will grow older, the bonds will go greater, but you will become stagnant. The longer you stay, holding on to the familiar, the worse it will get. You're like a beautiful fish that is meant to swim in the deepest parts of the massive ocean who chooses to hang out in the coy pond in your neighbors backyard. Your colors are fading and you don't swim as well as you used to. 

At this point, you must make a choice: step off of the Ferris wheel or risk a lifetime at a monotonous carnival, or swimming laps in a coy pond, letting your colors turn to grey. 

Stepping out into the abyss is never easy. Especially, when what is in front of you is so blinding that you can't see it clearly. But, that's what the future is, it's this bright, amazing unknown just waiting for you to step into it, if you'll only have the courage to find it and hold on to your values and not lose yourself in the process. The light floods the eyes, the sun shines so brightly that it distorts your vision at first, but do not be afraid. When you're on the brink, it can be terrifying. The easiest thing to do is to run back to that dark, safe place. This is the moment you must grit your teeth and step out, for you made this choice and it's terrifying but turning back now would be detrimental. When you open yourself up to stepping into the unknown, you have the chance to grasp endless opportunity from all kinds of unexpected places. When you step out of the shadows, you will remember that your future is limitless. Step into the light and take hold of tomorrow! :-) 

Kindness: The Insurmountable Power You Possess

I wonder how many people clicked this link thinking the title of this blog is an oxymoron. Kindness is easily confused as weakness. The truth it, it’s just the opposite. When someone is evil to you, it’s so easy to repay anger with anger or dissention with dissention. A true test of character, strength, and power is to show kindness to those who betray, hurt or ignore you.

The amazing thing is, no matter who we are, where we live, whether we’re rich or poor, we have the power to be kind to others, regardless of who they are. Smiles and grace are free and don’t need to be returned to make a difference in someone’s life. We never know what impact a small act can have on someone’s life, even if we never see that person again.

I’ve been really fortunate to have been treated with kindness by people in my life. I choose not to focus on those who have been unkind or who have violated me. I can definitely say that I am who I am because of the people who treated me with kindness. Sometimes kind words can mean everything. I sat on a novel I wrote for a long time because I didn’t think anyone would read it or would have anything nice to say about it. It was because of the kindness of others that I dared to put it out there. Every time I get an email or message from someone who has read it, or see a new positive review, I think of those people who showed me the kindness to encourage me to keep at it. Their encouragement cost nothing, but meant absolutely everything to me.

Kindness also has a tendency for perpetuating itself. My husband and I have been sponsoring a child in Haiti for several years now. He’s eight now, but I still remember his fifth birthday. We had the option to give him a bit extra for a birthday gift. I was thinking the organization would purchase a soccer ball or something he could play with. A few weeks later, a letter came. It explained that four of his family members had passed away, but that he had had a good birthday and that the funds I had sent had been spent on a hen. They were so appreciative of the gift, but it really put the value of our sponsorship into perspective for me. In that moment, I realized child sponsorship is one of the greatest things I’ve ever done. This year, we’ve begun sponsoring a little girl from Haiti as well. I can say with certainty that I’ve gotten more out of sponsoring these children than the monetary amount we give to them. I received a letter recently saying the family of one of our sponsored children is praying for us. A prayer costs them nothing, but has immeasurable power. I’m so humbled by the fact that these people who don’t even know us are willing to pray for us that I am beyond words.

It is easier to stay within your comfort zone. It’s safe living in our own little worlds. Why step out? Why do something for someone else without expecting something in return? Why make the world a better place by showing someone a little grace, or a little love. I think the better questions are: Why not step out? Why not do something for someone else without expecting something in return? Don’t we need a kinder, better world? Why not show more love and grace?

There is so much hurt and anger and violence in this world, but kindness is free. It can truly change the world and perpetuate goodness. Mark Twain said, “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see,” and it’s absolutely true. By showing love and compassion for others, especially those who chastise or hurt us, it shows the power we truly hold. Loving your enemies does not make you weak. It gives you strength. It makes you a fighter and shows your enemies that you will not give in to their anger or hate. You will not sink to their level. You will rise above and be kind, not because you are weak, but because you can see past their anger or their past transgressions and be a bigger person.

This week, I challenge you to step out and step up. Be kind to someone who has wronged you. Maybe your grace and compassion will change their lives, but if not, it may very well change yours. Use your inner strength, that insurmountable power that you hold. You have the power and the strength to be kind. Don’t let it go to waste. Let your light shine brightly and share the gift of kindness with everyone around you!

Perspective

I have been at my current job for over 6 years and people have often commented on my positive attitude and the fact that I’m often smiling. I end up with nicknames like smiley, sunshine, and bubbles. One person recently looked at me and told me I must be on some kind of drugs because no one is that happy at work. What she fails to realize is that happiness is a choice and it’s all about perspective.

 

Prior ending up in my current career, I spent some time working as a 911 dispatcher. This experience changed my life completely.
Imagine working in a room so dark you don't know who is sitting beside you, illuminated by four computer screens in front of you, two more to your right and a phone system that looks like it could help land an airplane. Others sit nearby talking in calm voices, where you hear tidbits of one-sided conversations such as, "where is the gun now?" or "how many times have you tried to kill yourself before?"
A call comes in. A young boy in a terrified voice says, I think my parents just killed each other.
This was my typical day as a 911 dispatcher. Fresh out of college with a criminal justice degree I was idealistic. I was in the hiring process for six months, which is considered a short amount of time. 90% of applicants don’t make it through the process, which included a group interview, psychological evaluation, physical, and a polygraph.

 

I was in the 10 percent that get hired and I was determined to change the world and make difference. And for a while, I did. I learned 250 codes and signals. I aced the tests and, in a short time, I was beginning to handle the toughest calls without assistance.

 

But making a difference came at a cost. Over time, the amount of pressure to learn everything quickly began to take its toll. I would get up at 3 or 4 am one week and then get home around 1 or 2 am the next week. Despite this erratic schedule, I no longer felt tired. I have no idea what I was eating, because I wasn’t hungry either.  

 

For weeks at a time, I had very little contact with any family or friends, because my schedule was so unpredictable and often, I was only off of work when they were sleeping. I made friends in the training classes who were going through the same things I was, and that made it somewhat bearable.

 

I told myself that this was all worth it. After all, this is what I wanted to do. I majored in Criminal Justice to change the world. I couldn’t quit now. I was at the top of my training class. One week I took over 20 calls from suicidal people. I was an expert on talking people down and distracting them until help arrived. I didn’t take into consideration the toll that this job was truly putting on me.

 

During my last training class, we listened to some recorded calls. One included a dispatcher who couldn’t understand the accent of the screaming woman on the other line. The response was delayed. I knew it wasn’t the dispatcher’s fault but I never considered how I would feel if my lack of understanding or comprehension of what was being said delayed a response.

 

After hearing that call, I knew in that moment, that despite all of the training, preparation, and time I had put in, that this was not the job for me.

The day that I quit, I drove home with a smile on my face. I had no plan, no job to fall back on, and my family thought I was crazy for giving up my first "real job”.

The reality was, instead of changing the world, the world changed me. The lessons I learned as a dispatcher were invaluable. I learned that things can always, always be worse. The stresses we typically experience in our day-to-day lives are minor. The reality is, our days are numbered and they are precious, so I choose happiness and I challenge you to do the same! :)

 

Hunting Rainbows

Within the past few weeks, there have been several battles going on around me. I am learning that I can't control any of them, but that hasn't stopped me from wishing I could. At times, I want to shake certain people and ask them if they're serious. I want to tell them to think for themselves and to stop letting others dictate what happens. I want to make them feel better, make them happy, make others stop taking advantage of them. Then I remember that I can't make anyone do anything.

I have been struggling through a situation that I believe is wrong. Someone I love dearly has made a life choice that I believe was influenced by others who have ulterior motives. I have watched this person suffer and make choices that I know she would not have made, had it not been for the influencers. I pray this person is acting on her own accord, and that her best wishes are truly at heart for the influencers, but I also know the track record of said influences and believe that is not the case. It frustrates me to no end that there is nothing I can do change things. Fighting with the influences will not suffice or make any change. As hard as it is not to fight for someone I love, there is nothing I can do to change it. I have to let go.

I have a choice. I can stand by and watch it unfold before me, being as I have no control, or I can remove myself entirely from the situation. I have to remember God is in control, because I have none and never had any to begin with. However, what I allow into my life is what will continue. Therefore, those people can take a break from my life and my thoughts.

It seems like people perpetuate their own storms and then get mad when it rains. Once it rains (perpetuated or not), we all go hunting for rainbows. When the storms of life get the best of us, we go in search of something better, something to make us happy, something bright, maybe with a pot of gold at the end.

I wish life worked that way. I wish every time there was a storm, everyone would have their own rainbow to look forward to. Not to say it never happens, but we can't expect a rainbow every time. We're given our situations and our gifts and struggles for a reason. But we make choices every day about what we choose to do with all of our struggles as well as our gifts.

There's no sense in hunting for rainbows in places where you can't stop the rain from falling. I guess it's up to all of us to find our own rainbows and choose our own paths. I can only hope to encourage you to enjoy the gifts of friends and families every day because you never know when they will be ripped from your life by death or other circumstances beyond your control. Hold those moments and revel in them. Trust that God knows what he's doing, and focus on what you can control. :)





 

Live Your Dreams

When we were little, things were so much easier. One week you could want to be a doctor, the next an architect, the next a musician, and three days later, you could decide your ambition is to design clothes for the rich and famous. We grow up and eventually choose our paths. Those who are lucky or ambitious find their passions early in life and thrive.

In Gallup’s 2013 State of the American Workplace study, 70% of those who participated described themselves as “disengaged” from their work...This fact makes me sick. Why are walking through our work lives "disengaged?" Because it's easy? Because we don't believe we can make things better or make and impact where we are?

I've been told I inspire people. While this is one of the most flattering things people can say, when some of those same people are the ones who are miserable day in and day out, I honestly want to shake them. I want to say, "Inspire me! Please! I want to see what you can do. I know you're capable of so many things and that you want so much more. So go for it! Don't let anything stop you! I love that I inspire you, but stop watching me and go get what you want!"

Fear is one of the most powerful things in the world. We internalize it and become terrified of change. It's easy to watch someone go after their dreams. It's fun to watch it from the sidelines. I love watching people succeed, however I have greater admiration for the people whose dreams aren't easy and for those who fall backwards over and over again.

I want to say to those people who watch from the sidelines: "I want to watch you fall backward even though I hate to see you struggle." We fall and struggle because we have more to learn and need to grow from our experiences. Falling isn't failing. You only fail when you quit. Reaching a dream is very much like a child who is learning to walk. One step and then the fall, and then comes the tears. Soon, another step, and a collapse, inevitably more tears. Eventually, that child will become so proficient with walking, he or she will start to run. For those people on the sidelines--I want to see you run! I want to see you meet and exceed all of your dreams because I believe in you! Don't tell me I inspire you. Inspire someone else. Inspire greatness, or tolerance, or love, or change. Don't let your ideas fall on deaf ears. Stand at the top of the tallest mountain if you must, do whatever you have to do to work toward your dreams.

Don't be your own worst enemy. It's time for you to believe in yourself! Fear has the power to consume you, but the cool thing about fear is you control everything internally. Everything you do or choose is only as big as you choose to make it. If you let a move or a job stand between you and your happiness, you're letting your fear be too big. Sure, we don't always know what's on the other side of that new job or that new path, but if nothing else, you'll have grown and become stronger. Let your fear shrink and your light become bright. Let it illuminate your path and think about what will make you truly happy. When you do that, you will inevitably inspire others.

One day, the sun will set and you won't see it rise. That day could be today. Imagine never seeing the sun come up again. I'm not trying to be morbid, but this is reality.

What will you wish you have done? Who will you wish you spoke to one last time? Who still needs to know that you love them? I challenge you to take today and do it. It can't wait. Time won't make hard conversations any easier. We only have one life to live. Let's stop filling it with negativity and watching from the sidelines. Get in there! Live your dreams! Do some falling and then I want to see you run. Why? Because I care about you and I want to see you succeed. We may not know each other, but that changes nothing. We need more free thinkers and positivity and people pursuing their dreams now, more than ever. Whatever your dream is, please, I beg you, start working toward it now. It is never too late to get started. This is your chance. This is your moment. What will you do with it? :)

Life Lessons and Such.

Hi!
 
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kristen Nannini, author of No Man Sam, and soon-to-be author of a Young Adult trilogy which is currently nameless. :) I love to write, to reach people, to go to the beach, and to play with my rescue puppy, and hang out with my husband. Although I'm new to blogging, I'm also new to going to the gym and I'm hoping both new things in my life work out as favorably as those I've been doing for some time. Thanks so much for checking out my blog! I've tried this blog thing once before and didn't succeed. Now, like the gym, I feel I'm up for a challenge!
 
I wanted to come up with a list of things I've learned, and re-learned over the past several years. I think it helps to look at where I'm at now, versus where I've been and the lessons that have been learned along the way. I believe the past has a tendency to repeat and these lessons have proved beneficial to me, so hopefully this list will be helpful to someone else. I'm sure many might disagree with some of the statements below. If you disagree, feel free to comment. I would love to hear your opinions. I just hope something on this list hits home for someone. Hopefully what I've learned in my time on this earth will help someone else :)
 
1. True forgiveness takes a gargantuan amount of courage.
2. Love is all around us, as is God.
3. Taking time to figure out what someone else is thinking is useless. Just ask or move on.
4. Sometimes we hurt others unintentionally. If every possible effort has been made to mend fences, we must move on. Hurt feelings are valid, but if there is no sense of forgiveness or acceptance of remorse, moving on is the only option we have.
5. It is much easier to forgive an enemy than it is to forgive a friend.
6. Communication is the key to living harmoniously. If we close the door, there is no way for new ideas to flow, bridges to be built, or relationships to be strengthened.
7. When life gives you lemons and you've no where to turn, figure out how to get yourself out and then tell/write about it. Someone else will be in that same place in the future.
8. Just saying hello and checking in with someone on your mind can mean all the difference in the world.  
9. Hindsight is always 20/20 but if we choose to live in the past, we will never be able to live for today.
10. Love is an amazing thing. It grows and changes and sometimes seems to take on a life of its own. When someone seems to deserve love the least, that's usually when they need it the most.
11. Change is never easy, but it's inevitable. Embrace it and grow from it and you will never feel forced into anything.
12. Money is a vicious and lovely thing. Spend it wisely and be wise and save some too. You can never be too wise when it comes to money, but it's easy to become too careless. Take care of your money so you can take care of yourself.
13. Growing plants takes time and love. Growing weeds takes inaction.
14. Sometimes it's better to listen to someone who you believe is wrong than take the energy to prove them wrong. Sometimes people just need to be heard with no judgment.
15. Music is an awesome thing. It can raise you up or bring you down so many levels. Choose your music wisely.
16. Enemies are only yours when you choose to create them. Regardless of who you believe is your enemy, treat them with kindness and love. You may one day make a friend, but at the very least, will have no hate in your heart to consume you.
17. Respect is something that should always be given blindly. A homeless man deserves as much respect as a business man. I guarantee the homeless man will appreciate it more. Never take someone else's respect for granted. It is so easily lost.
18. Always put yourself in someone else's shoes. In most cases, I'm very grateful and thankful to be stepping back into mine. Appreciate every gift you have regardless of how small or insignificant that may seem.
19. Freedom is something we should never, ever take for granted.
20. Sometimes when bad things turn out exactly as you expected, it sucks to be right. At the same time it's an excellent opportunity to reflect on what you've learned. Maybe it warrants expecting something different/better.
21. Drunk driving is a horrible thing which often affects people who don't drive drunk or drink very little themselves. If you have a friend or family member that needs help, getting them that help could save an untold amount of innocent lives.
22. People aren't perfect. They make mistakes and screw things up. You are no better or worse than said "people". We are all beautifully and perfectly imperfect.
23. Sometimes there is nothing you can do or say to foster forgiveness. Then again, maybe the friendship was a farce in the first place or not worth the effort you applied.
24. Life ebbs and flows. It's always changing and never constant. Appreciate every sunrise and what God has given you.
25. Having the change to reach people through books is an amazing and powerful thing!
26. Growing older doesn't hurt.
27. Growing wiser is a blessing.
28. We are the creators of our own destinies. Take hold of what you love and never let go, regardless of what anyone thinks.
29. Great courage and resilience can often be found in a person who actively chooses to remain silent.
30.  Puppies are incredible creatures. It is a joy and a privilege to have one.

One pooped puppy :)

Thanks for visiting. Have an incredible day!