Fear, Guns, and God

In Orlando, Newtown, Chicago, (insert your current location here), and across the globe, violence, hate, anger, hostility, and criminal behavior run rampant. 

When a group or a lone person decides to hurt you or people you love, it's easy to lash out in disgust and outright anger. It's also easy to detach ourselves and believe that violence and all of these awful things are something that happens in other places. 

We must face reality: we live in a splintered and shattered society. We live in a world where it's possible to live, shop, or work beside a terrorist and have no clue. We also live in a world filled with hate and prejudice. We must not let these prejudices consume us. A terrorist can be anyone. Anyone. Of any background. 

Even if we put every control possible into place, terrorism is an evil that cannot be contained. There will always be another group surfacing or a lone wolf who is just waiting for an opportunity. So what can we do? Always abide by the "if you see something, say something" mentality, for one. Your action could be the one thing that changed everything. 

Try as we might, we ultimately cannot control what happens in the future. We need to accept that. We can all get alarms and guns and never let our children outside. We can choose to live in fear of our neighbors and stereotype people who could become our greatest friends. We can live inside our seemingly impenetrable bubble of fear. 

But what does that serve? You are going to have to step outside of your bubble one day. Or there will be something that happens that pops the bubble of fear beyond repair. 

The terrorist from the nightclub lived in my hometown. He went to high school with some of my friends. He lived less than ten houses from where my husband used to live. We went to the same community college. I did not know him. But he could have easily been sitting in a classroom, or shopping at a local grocery store beside me.

In this same city, a gun show went on last weekend at local civic center. The local news was there to report and the parking lot was insane. A church that usually occupies the civic center space was kicked outside. Imagine being in an outdoor church service in the blazing Florida sunshine and seeing people walking by constantly on their way in and out of a gun show, taking the place you usually use for worship to by weapons. Surreal. 

My city kicks out the faithful in favor of gun sales. I'm not against guns or self protection. It is simply ironic that in a city where the terrorist grew up and lived, there is a greater demand for guns than there is for faith. 

Defending your home and your family is your right and is not to be taken lightly. However, it is often said that there are no atheists on the battlefield. When weapons fail to protect us, and we are defenseless and all hope is lost, we must lean on God. 

Guns make us feel more protected. We can protect ourselves and our families. And in many cases, guns are beneficial. However, we are not in control. According to policeone.com, in America it is estimated that less than 12 percent of police officers will ever draw and fire their weapons at another person in the entire course of their career. Statistically, we are much, much more likely to die of disease than we are at the hands of a terrorist. 

When our loved ones and families get diseases and pass away, the only one we have left turn to is God.

The most powerful thing, above all else, is Love. We must love one another instead of living lives filled with hatred and fear. We must learn to respect, learn from, and appreciate our differences. 

We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Worry solves nothing. Get out there, love hard, live fully, and appreciate every day that you have been granted! Don't spend your life in a bubble! You will miss the chance to fully live the life you've worked so hard to protect

For Christina Grimmie and her fans

I'm not a poet by any stretch of the imagination but I felt compelled to jot this down. May God bless all of the families who have experienced unimaginable tragedy over this last week.

Heaven gained an angel last Friday night. 

When a gunman stole her beautiful life. 

Why did he do it? We may never know. 

Only thing that's for sure, she was too young to go. 

A role model who transcended her hype. 

A friend to her fans when he ended her life.

It's easy to cry but harder to grieve for someone we only knew through the screen. But she truly changed lives and made her mark in the world. 

She was a one-of-a-kind incredible girl.

She lived life to the fullest until her last day. Singing her heart out along the way. Indescribable passion, insurmountable faith

And a exuberant smile on her beautiful face. 

Along with this girl who inspired such light, In that terrible scene on that horrible night, A hero emerged to save multiple lives. 

Through unthinkable pain, he did what was right. 

What this killer forgot or perhaps did not know, is her light was much more than a one-candle show. She drew everyone in like a moth to a flame and lit the world on fire, with us cheering her name. 

Fear is an enemy we must learn to ignore. Because if we don't we will lose so much more. So take that candle she lit, set it down on the floor and follow your dreams and like her, you will soar. 

-Kristen Nannini

RIP Christina. You were loved and lost far too soon. 

Limitless

It's a safe place. If you keep your head down, do what you have to do and learn not to question things, it's secure. It goes around and around like a Ferris Wheel that no one dares to step off of. If you stay long enough, it will become unchanged. You'll know what to expect today, tomorrow, and next week. The same old people, the same dry stories, the same routine. The years will come and go, the faces will grow older, the bonds will go greater, but you will become stagnant. The longer you stay, holding on to the familiar, the worse it will get. You're like a beautiful fish that is meant to swim in the deepest parts of the massive ocean who chooses to hang out in the coy pond in your neighbors backyard. Your colors are fading and you don't swim as well as you used to. 

At this point, you must make a choice: step off of the Ferris wheel or risk a lifetime at a monotonous carnival, or swimming laps in a coy pond, letting your colors turn to grey. 

Stepping out into the abyss is never easy. Especially, when what is in front of you is so blinding that you can't see it clearly. But, that's what the future is, it's this bright, amazing unknown just waiting for you to step into it, if you'll only have the courage to find it and hold on to your values and not lose yourself in the process. The light floods the eyes, the sun shines so brightly that it distorts your vision at first, but do not be afraid. When you're on the brink, it can be terrifying. The easiest thing to do is to run back to that dark, safe place. This is the moment you must grit your teeth and step out, for you made this choice and it's terrifying but turning back now would be detrimental. When you open yourself up to stepping into the unknown, you have the chance to grasp endless opportunity from all kinds of unexpected places. When you step out of the shadows, you will remember that your future is limitless. Step into the light and take hold of tomorrow! :-) 

Scrolling, Scrolling, Scrolling

Our time on this earth is so limited. We should spend it doing things we love and with people we care about. We should spend time out in nature, exploring our surroundings, enjoying the earth that God has given us. We should spend time feeding and clothing the homeless, or helping our veterans, or giving voices to babies, children, or animals that don't have one. We each have a purpose in this life, but I'm starting to see that our purposes are becoming completely diluted by social media.

Today, I celebrated 8 years of Facebook friendship with my husband. A giant post came up to remind me and to share that fact with the world. I did. I shared it...but for what?

Social media is a great vehicle to promote your business, start a friendship or stay connected with old friends, and stay in touch, even when you're far away. It's an awesome benefit to our society, but more and more, it's getting out of control. When we're bored, we start scrolling through pictures and videos, statuses, and articles.  

We scroll through statuses often containing the highlights of everyone's lives. We virtually scroll through new babies, birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, memes, videos, photos with a finger. I heard a teen complaining the other day that she'd posted the funniest joke she'd ever come up with and that no one had liked her post while her friend explained that you had to post things when everyone was out of school so it wouldn't get bumped to the bottom of the news feed. She told her friend it was all about timing...When did we become a society that only felt our ideas/opinions were valued because someone clicked a "like" button? 

Then we have those friends that assume that once they've put something on Facebook that the whole world better pay attention. I know a person who lost a friend because she hadn't been up-to-date enough to know how her friend was doing. I asked a close family member once if she'd remembered my birthday, and she said, "Oh yes. I wished you happy birthday on Facebook, which is why I didn't call." So now, not only are we hinging our self-esteem on the number of "likes" we get, we're also expected to monitor everyone else's pages as well as our own to determine what the status of each of our friends is at any given time or place? 

Relationships have been destroyed because something posted on social media was taken personally or something was taken out of context. Social media also has the potential to become a breeding ground for cheating. I was Googling some facts for this article and somehow ended up coming across an article that offers 25 helpful apps for cheating on your girlfriend. Seriously? We have all this amazing technology avaialable at our fingertips and we're using it to create apps that "help" us cheat on our significant others? 

If we continue to spend our time scrolling aimlessly, trying to post things for "likes" or "follows". or use social media as a way to dilute our own realities, I wonder what that means for our purpose. We were meant for so much more than this mindlessness.

Social media is an amazing thing...It's a great vehicle for communication and for business-related purposes. It can enhance communications in ways that were previously impossible. However. it should not take the place of living your very best life. If you feel your life or marriage is compromised by social media, seriously consider what void social media is filling for you and cut it off, at least for a while and see how you feel. If you can't be without it, consider that social media addiction is a real thing and get help.

Please, spend your precious time wisely. If you find yourself aimlessly scrolling, turn it off and do something else!

Best wishes!!

Writing is Magic

I love reading books that make me feel something. The moment I knew I was destined to be a writer came when someone told me they got goosebumps reading the fiction I had written. Knowing I had helped someone feel something was the most amazing thing in the world and I was hooked! The truth is, writers are magicians and good writers know how to pull on your heartstrings and evoke laughter, fear, sadness, and a myriad of other emptions.

Still not convinced? Has a fiction book ever taken you to another place entirely? Has a book ever made you feel something? Have you ever felt personally invested in a story and read on through the night because you just had to finish what you were reading?

If so, consider this. The English language is comprised of 26 letters, forming words, strung together by writers. Those words, if strung together by a good writer, can take you to places you've never seen, introduce you to people you'll never meet and make you feel something you've never felt. If that's not magic, I don't know what is.

A word of caution...Becoming a writer is not for the average person. It takes dilligence, patience, determination and, often, some degree of insanity. In addition, many addicts also tend to be writers. Should you decide to persue writing, you will end up in the middle of some of the most interesting relationships with fellow writers that you can imagine. Some will try to sell you their book, others will want to trade books for reviews, which, to me, seems like cheating, some will be pretentious and snooty. (You'll see 'em. They'll be the ones who pull manuscripts from the sky in days and claim it took a weekend from start to finish. They are often the ones who are the first to correct your grammar and the last to offer any constuctive critism). Some will just be all-around good people, which is greaat, but you've got to weed 'em out to ensure they're not really just fishing for reviews or sales.

Being a writer/magician :) takes a lot of guts. You've got to be willing to put yourself out there no matter what happens. You will face rejection. You will want to give up 8454534592 times. You will be let down. Reviewers will hate what you write. But it's that one reader that tells you your book made them feel something that makes it all worth it. It's that one reader that stayed up all night to finish, or the one who has an opinion on every character and is passionate about each one and their motives. Helping people feel something is the best and only thing that makes the hours spent toiling away worth it. :)

If you've got the words inside, write them. Write them from your heart and put in your emotion. This is the key to the magic. If you feel nothing writing the words, then your readers will, in turn, feel nothing. But, add in your emotion and write from the heart, and the magic will follow. :)

Best wishes!

A Brand New Year! Hooray!

First off, Happy New Year! I chose this picture because I usually look like Charlie Brown looks in this photo when it comes to thinking about resolutions. I get it. The new year is like a blank-slate. The chance to do everything "right", or to do something "better". But, often, I think "right" and "better" are totally overrated and over-hyped. Especially when many people seem to be simply following the crowd when it comes to resolutions. 

I believe there are only two types of people in the world: Those that live their lives for themselves, and those that live their lives for other people. I want to live the life God intended for me, without worrying about boundaries that I've created based on others' opinions or ideas. Too often, we get wrapped up in trying to be perfect people. We are not perfect people, regardless of how often we hit the gym or eat a vegan diet, or get 10 college degrees. If you're creating your resolution based on what you think perfect should look like, my suggestion is to not bother. Make a resolution for you because it's something you strive for or desire. :-)

As far as my resolutions go, 2016 will be the year of reckless abandon and living dangerously. For me, living dangerously is not letting myself be pushed around, pushing myself to the limits, taking chances I never would have dreamed of, and attempting to write with that same passion, in addition to diving deeper into the Bible. 

This has been an eye-opening time of soul searching and discovery for me (I appreciate all the feedback I've received on yesterday's post in particular, by the way), and I'm having a blast considering and looking to what the future will hold for me. 

I am excited to greet 2016 with no regrets and nothing but optimism! And if you have resolutions this year, I wish you 2000% success with each of them!

Let your light shine bright in 2016! May you be safe, healthy, and happy!

Cheers! 

Lessons Learned and Re-Learned

Over these last few weeks, I've found myself unexpectedly unemployed for the first time in many years and, although I've been interviewing and testing and all those good things, nothing has stuck as of yet. It is no surprise that no one is actively hiring during the last two weeks of the year. It is somewhat stressful, but I've got a wonderful, supportive husband and I'm just working to get something flexible enough to allow me to get back to school at night, with enough free time for writing and family. As we're near the start of a brand new year, it's a great time to reflect. In reflecting on what lead me to recently leave a shiny brand new job, I've learned and re-learned a few life lessons I'd like to share.

1. No one, no matter what title, status, or social standing they have deserves to be treated like garbage. Bullying is something that should never happen to our kids, to our co-workers, or to our friends. Until just recently, I never knew what being bullied actually felt like. I was ignorant. I figured it was something that could be shrugged off or ignored, but when it's tolerated and allowed in a school or work setting, no amount of shrugging it off will work. Bullies can be relentless, so if you see it happening, say something. Lauging along with a bully makes the person being bullied feel even more alienated. Bullies should not be tolerated. Find your voice and say something.

2. Find what you love and love what you do. I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and that we're all on our own journey when it comes to finding and living out our passions. When working with others, find something good about your work, each day. Asking at the end of each work day these four questions will give you a guage to know if you're working effectively, to inact change, and to be an effective leader (even if you're not in a leadership capacity): Have I learned something? Have I taught something? Have I complimented someone? Have I fixed something? I believe if you truly care about what you do, you'll be able to answer each of these questions almost every day with a YES.

3. Stand up for something...Even if you feel like you're standing alone and naked in a blizzard. Don't sacrifice your morals or your values for anything, but also don't be afraid to let in new ideas and hear challenging viewpoints.

4. Embrace Change. It is inevitable, so embracing it becomes exciting, regardess of whether you're clutching it with your teeth gritted and your eyes closed. :)

5. Never, ever, ever underestimate the power of love and friendship. There is immeasurable power in loving others and being loved.

6. Death is a guarantee. We're all going to die someday, hopefully very far in the future. But, knowing we're going to die should mean we're living for something. If you're not sure what you're living for, reevaluate your priorities right now. Know makes you happy and if you're not doing it, decide why not and what you need to do to get to whatever happy looks like for you. Don't wait for tomorrow as it is not guaranteed.

7. Give to others. There is always a need. Do whatever you can do to help those in need or less fortunate. Make a tiny mark whenever possible. This will perpetuate one of the most powerful things in the world: hope.

8. Words are powerful. They can become weapons or inspire peace. Your words are meaningful and should be chosen very wisely. Think before you speak or before you hit that send button. Some things are better left unsaid, and some things need to be said before it's too late.

9. "Just because something shines doesn't mean that it's gold." Someone recenly said this to me when I was explaining what a great opportunity I had been given that I wasn't able take advantage of. I mulled this comment over for a few minutes and smiled, realizing this person was absolutely right.

10. Starting over takes courage and gumption. It's easy to become complacent and sit in an environent you hate because it's scary to step foot into the unknown. Sometimes you will stumble and fall and have regrets and anxiety. Sometimes nothing will come easy and everything will feel like pulling teeth. However, if nothing else, starting over will cause you to step out of your comfort zone and find a little more about yourself and your true character. And walking through that kind of experience, is invaluable.

I wish you a happy and peaceful 2016. May the best year yet be upon you!