Limitless

It's a safe place. If you keep your head down, do what you have to do and learn not to question things, it's secure. It goes around and around like a Ferris Wheel that no one dares to step off of. If you stay long enough, it will become unchanged. You'll know what to expect today, tomorrow, and next week. The same old people, the same dry stories, the same routine. The years will come and go, the faces will grow older, the bonds will go greater, but you will become stagnant. The longer you stay, holding on to the familiar, the worse it will get. You're like a beautiful fish that is meant to swim in the deepest parts of the massive ocean who chooses to hang out in the coy pond in your neighbors backyard. Your colors are fading and you don't swim as well as you used to. 

At this point, you must make a choice: step off of the Ferris wheel or risk a lifetime at a monotonous carnival, or swimming laps in a coy pond, letting your colors turn to grey. 

Stepping out into the abyss is never easy. Especially, when what is in front of you is so blinding that you can't see it clearly. But, that's what the future is, it's this bright, amazing unknown just waiting for you to step into it, if you'll only have the courage to find it and hold on to your values and not lose yourself in the process. The light floods the eyes, the sun shines so brightly that it distorts your vision at first, but do not be afraid. When you're on the brink, it can be terrifying. The easiest thing to do is to run back to that dark, safe place. This is the moment you must grit your teeth and step out, for you made this choice and it's terrifying but turning back now would be detrimental. When you open yourself up to stepping into the unknown, you have the chance to grasp endless opportunity from all kinds of unexpected places. When you step out of the shadows, you will remember that your future is limitless. Step into the light and take hold of tomorrow! :-) 

Scrolling, Scrolling, Scrolling

Our time on this earth is so limited. We should spend it doing things we love and with people we care about. We should spend time out in nature, exploring our surroundings, enjoying the earth that God has given us. We should spend time feeding and clothing the homeless, or helping our veterans, or giving voices to babies, children, or animals that don't have one. We each have a purpose in this life, but I'm starting to see that our purposes are becoming completely diluted by social media.

Today, I celebrated 8 years of Facebook friendship with my husband. A giant post came up to remind me and to share that fact with the world. I did. I shared it...but for what?

Social media is a great vehicle to promote your business, start a friendship or stay connected with old friends, and stay in touch, even when you're far away. It's an awesome benefit to our society, but more and more, it's getting out of control. When we're bored, we start scrolling through pictures and videos, statuses, and articles.  

We scroll through statuses often containing the highlights of everyone's lives. We virtually scroll through new babies, birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, memes, videos, photos with a finger. I heard a teen complaining the other day that she'd posted the funniest joke she'd ever come up with and that no one had liked her post while her friend explained that you had to post things when everyone was out of school so it wouldn't get bumped to the bottom of the news feed. She told her friend it was all about timing...When did we become a society that only felt our ideas/opinions were valued because someone clicked a "like" button? 

Then we have those friends that assume that once they've put something on Facebook that the whole world better pay attention. I know a person who lost a friend because she hadn't been up-to-date enough to know how her friend was doing. I asked a close family member once if she'd remembered my birthday, and she said, "Oh yes. I wished you happy birthday on Facebook, which is why I didn't call." So now, not only are we hinging our self-esteem on the number of "likes" we get, we're also expected to monitor everyone else's pages as well as our own to determine what the status of each of our friends is at any given time or place? 

Relationships have been destroyed because something posted on social media was taken personally or something was taken out of context. Social media also has the potential to become a breeding ground for cheating. I was Googling some facts for this article and somehow ended up coming across an article that offers 25 helpful apps for cheating on your girlfriend. Seriously? We have all this amazing technology avaialable at our fingertips and we're using it to create apps that "help" us cheat on our significant others? 

If we continue to spend our time scrolling aimlessly, trying to post things for "likes" or "follows". or use social media as a way to dilute our own realities, I wonder what that means for our purpose. We were meant for so much more than this mindlessness.

Social media is an amazing thing...It's a great vehicle for communication and for business-related purposes. It can enhance communications in ways that were previously impossible. However. it should not take the place of living your very best life. If you feel your life or marriage is compromised by social media, seriously consider what void social media is filling for you and cut it off, at least for a while and see how you feel. If you can't be without it, consider that social media addiction is a real thing and get help.

Please, spend your precious time wisely. If you find yourself aimlessly scrolling, turn it off and do something else!

Best wishes!!

Writing is Magic

I love reading books that make me feel something. The moment I knew I was destined to be a writer came when someone told me they got goosebumps reading the fiction I had written. Knowing I had helped someone feel something was the most amazing thing in the world and I was hooked! The truth is, writers are magicians and good writers know how to pull on your heartstrings and evoke laughter, fear, sadness, and a myriad of other emptions.

Still not convinced? Has a fiction book ever taken you to another place entirely? Has a book ever made you feel something? Have you ever felt personally invested in a story and read on through the night because you just had to finish what you were reading?

If so, consider this. The English language is comprised of 26 letters, forming words, strung together by writers. Those words, if strung together by a good writer, can take you to places you've never seen, introduce you to people you'll never meet and make you feel something you've never felt. If that's not magic, I don't know what is.

A word of caution...Becoming a writer is not for the average person. It takes dilligence, patience, determination and, often, some degree of insanity. In addition, many addicts also tend to be writers. Should you decide to persue writing, you will end up in the middle of some of the most interesting relationships with fellow writers that you can imagine. Some will try to sell you their book, others will want to trade books for reviews, which, to me, seems like cheating, some will be pretentious and snooty. (You'll see 'em. They'll be the ones who pull manuscripts from the sky in days and claim it took a weekend from start to finish. They are often the ones who are the first to correct your grammar and the last to offer any constuctive critism). Some will just be all-around good people, which is greaat, but you've got to weed 'em out to ensure they're not really just fishing for reviews or sales.

Being a writer/magician :) takes a lot of guts. You've got to be willing to put yourself out there no matter what happens. You will face rejection. You will want to give up 8454534592 times. You will be let down. Reviewers will hate what you write. But it's that one reader that tells you your book made them feel something that makes it all worth it. It's that one reader that stayed up all night to finish, or the one who has an opinion on every character and is passionate about each one and their motives. Helping people feel something is the best and only thing that makes the hours spent toiling away worth it. :)

If you've got the words inside, write them. Write them from your heart and put in your emotion. This is the key to the magic. If you feel nothing writing the words, then your readers will, in turn, feel nothing. But, add in your emotion and write from the heart, and the magic will follow. :)

Best wishes!

A Brand New Year! Hooray!

First off, Happy New Year! I chose this picture because I usually look like Charlie Brown looks in this photo when it comes to thinking about resolutions. I get it. The new year is like a blank-slate. The chance to do everything "right", or to do something "better". But, often, I think "right" and "better" are totally overrated and over-hyped. Especially when many people seem to be simply following the crowd when it comes to resolutions. 

I believe there are only two types of people in the world: Those that live their lives for themselves, and those that live their lives for other people. I want to live the life God intended for me, without worrying about boundaries that I've created based on others' opinions or ideas. Too often, we get wrapped up in trying to be perfect people. We are not perfect people, regardless of how often we hit the gym or eat a vegan diet, or get 10 college degrees. If you're creating your resolution based on what you think perfect should look like, my suggestion is to not bother. Make a resolution for you because it's something you strive for or desire. :-)

As far as my resolutions go, 2016 will be the year of reckless abandon and living dangerously. For me, living dangerously is not letting myself be pushed around, pushing myself to the limits, taking chances I never would have dreamed of, and attempting to write with that same passion, in addition to diving deeper into the Bible. 

This has been an eye-opening time of soul searching and discovery for me (I appreciate all the feedback I've received on yesterday's post in particular, by the way), and I'm having a blast considering and looking to what the future will hold for me. 

I am excited to greet 2016 with no regrets and nothing but optimism! And if you have resolutions this year, I wish you 2000% success with each of them!

Let your light shine bright in 2016! May you be safe, healthy, and happy!

Cheers! 

Lessons Learned and Re-Learned

Over these last few weeks, I've found myself unexpectedly unemployed for the first time in many years and, although I've been interviewing and testing and all those good things, nothing has stuck as of yet. It is no surprise that no one is actively hiring during the last two weeks of the year. It is somewhat stressful, but I've got a wonderful, supportive husband and I'm just working to get something flexible enough to allow me to get back to school at night, with enough free time for writing and family. As we're near the start of a brand new year, it's a great time to reflect. In reflecting on what lead me to recently leave a shiny brand new job, I've learned and re-learned a few life lessons I'd like to share.

1. No one, no matter what title, status, or social standing they have deserves to be treated like garbage. Bullying is something that should never happen to our kids, to our co-workers, or to our friends. Until just recently, I never knew what being bullied actually felt like. I was ignorant. I figured it was something that could be shrugged off or ignored, but when it's tolerated and allowed in a school or work setting, no amount of shrugging it off will work. Bullies can be relentless, so if you see it happening, say something. Lauging along with a bully makes the person being bullied feel even more alienated. Bullies should not be tolerated. Find your voice and say something.

2. Find what you love and love what you do. I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and that we're all on our own journey when it comes to finding and living out our passions. When working with others, find something good about your work, each day. Asking at the end of each work day these four questions will give you a guage to know if you're working effectively, to inact change, and to be an effective leader (even if you're not in a leadership capacity): Have I learned something? Have I taught something? Have I complimented someone? Have I fixed something? I believe if you truly care about what you do, you'll be able to answer each of these questions almost every day with a YES.

3. Stand up for something...Even if you feel like you're standing alone and naked in a blizzard. Don't sacrifice your morals or your values for anything, but also don't be afraid to let in new ideas and hear challenging viewpoints.

4. Embrace Change. It is inevitable, so embracing it becomes exciting, regardess of whether you're clutching it with your teeth gritted and your eyes closed. :)

5. Never, ever, ever underestimate the power of love and friendship. There is immeasurable power in loving others and being loved.

6. Death is a guarantee. We're all going to die someday, hopefully very far in the future. But, knowing we're going to die should mean we're living for something. If you're not sure what you're living for, reevaluate your priorities right now. Know makes you happy and if you're not doing it, decide why not and what you need to do to get to whatever happy looks like for you. Don't wait for tomorrow as it is not guaranteed.

7. Give to others. There is always a need. Do whatever you can do to help those in need or less fortunate. Make a tiny mark whenever possible. This will perpetuate one of the most powerful things in the world: hope.

8. Words are powerful. They can become weapons or inspire peace. Your words are meaningful and should be chosen very wisely. Think before you speak or before you hit that send button. Some things are better left unsaid, and some things need to be said before it's too late.

9. "Just because something shines doesn't mean that it's gold." Someone recenly said this to me when I was explaining what a great opportunity I had been given that I wasn't able take advantage of. I mulled this comment over for a few minutes and smiled, realizing this person was absolutely right.

10. Starting over takes courage and gumption. It's easy to become complacent and sit in an environent you hate because it's scary to step foot into the unknown. Sometimes you will stumble and fall and have regrets and anxiety. Sometimes nothing will come easy and everything will feel like pulling teeth. However, if nothing else, starting over will cause you to step out of your comfort zone and find a little more about yourself and your true character. And walking through that kind of experience, is invaluable.

I wish you a happy and peaceful 2016. May the best year yet be upon you!

Kindness: The Insurmountable Power You Possess

I wonder how many people clicked this link thinking the title of this blog is an oxymoron. Kindness is easily confused as weakness. The truth it, it’s just the opposite. When someone is evil to you, it’s so easy to repay anger with anger or dissention with dissention. A true test of character, strength, and power is to show kindness to those who betray, hurt or ignore you.

The amazing thing is, no matter who we are, where we live, whether we’re rich or poor, we have the power to be kind to others, regardless of who they are. Smiles and grace are free and don’t need to be returned to make a difference in someone’s life. We never know what impact a small act can have on someone’s life, even if we never see that person again.

I’ve been really fortunate to have been treated with kindness by people in my life. I choose not to focus on those who have been unkind or who have violated me. I can definitely say that I am who I am because of the people who treated me with kindness. Sometimes kind words can mean everything. I sat on a novel I wrote for a long time because I didn’t think anyone would read it or would have anything nice to say about it. It was because of the kindness of others that I dared to put it out there. Every time I get an email or message from someone who has read it, or see a new positive review, I think of those people who showed me the kindness to encourage me to keep at it. Their encouragement cost nothing, but meant absolutely everything to me.

Kindness also has a tendency for perpetuating itself. My husband and I have been sponsoring a child in Haiti for several years now. He’s eight now, but I still remember his fifth birthday. We had the option to give him a bit extra for a birthday gift. I was thinking the organization would purchase a soccer ball or something he could play with. A few weeks later, a letter came. It explained that four of his family members had passed away, but that he had had a good birthday and that the funds I had sent had been spent on a hen. They were so appreciative of the gift, but it really put the value of our sponsorship into perspective for me. In that moment, I realized child sponsorship is one of the greatest things I’ve ever done. This year, we’ve begun sponsoring a little girl from Haiti as well. I can say with certainty that I’ve gotten more out of sponsoring these children than the monetary amount we give to them. I received a letter recently saying the family of one of our sponsored children is praying for us. A prayer costs them nothing, but has immeasurable power. I’m so humbled by the fact that these people who don’t even know us are willing to pray for us that I am beyond words.

It is easier to stay within your comfort zone. It’s safe living in our own little worlds. Why step out? Why do something for someone else without expecting something in return? Why make the world a better place by showing someone a little grace, or a little love. I think the better questions are: Why not step out? Why not do something for someone else without expecting something in return? Don’t we need a kinder, better world? Why not show more love and grace?

There is so much hurt and anger and violence in this world, but kindness is free. It can truly change the world and perpetuate goodness. Mark Twain said, “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see,” and it’s absolutely true. By showing love and compassion for others, especially those who chastise or hurt us, it shows the power we truly hold. Loving your enemies does not make you weak. It gives you strength. It makes you a fighter and shows your enemies that you will not give in to their anger or hate. You will not sink to their level. You will rise above and be kind, not because you are weak, but because you can see past their anger or their past transgressions and be a bigger person.

This week, I challenge you to step out and step up. Be kind to someone who has wronged you. Maybe your grace and compassion will change their lives, but if not, it may very well change yours. Use your inner strength, that insurmountable power that you hold. You have the power and the strength to be kind. Don’t let it go to waste. Let your light shine brightly and share the gift of kindness with everyone around you!

Stand Up!

It's not a coincidence that the most inspiring, amazing people I know have been through the unimaginable. Rapes, drug addictions, depression, and much more have plagued these people's pasts and sometimes creep back into their lives like evil shadows when they least expect them to.

As much as we try to combat them, sometimes the shadows seem to win. Sometimes no matter how far you've gone, or much you've healed or how long it's been since you last spoke to someone, something will trigger that feeling and tempt you to mentally, emotionally, or physically go back into that dark place where you never wanted to, or intended to go again.

My favorite Japanese proverb is this: fall down seven times, stand up eight. The number of times the shadows of your past seem to creep in doesn't matter. What does matter is what you choose to do with them. The best news of all is you always have a choice. Will you let the shadow defeat you? Will you let it make you curl up into a ball, shut out the world, and forget what's important to you? Will you let the shadow take everything away that matters, that you've worked so hard for? Why let a shadow of your past have such a grip on you? Hasn't it already taken away enough? Are you going to let it steal your joy? Your piece of mind? Your happiness? The choice is yours: Stand up to the shadow or let it defeat you all over again.

Standing up to the shadows is never easy. It's harder than letting the shadows consume us. Our shadows are like bullies, waiting in the wings, hiding in the darkness, waiting to pounce. If you ignore the bully, they'll likely be back with a vengeance. If you succumb to the bully, they'll attack until they find someone else to bully. Those are the easy options. If you stand up to the bully, which is scary and hard, your bully will initially get worse. You'll get knocked down. You'll be challenged. You'll slide backwards. You'll get hurt. It will be hard. You will grow. You'll become tenacious. You'll surprise yourself. You'll get some thick skin. You'll get stronger. Standing up will become easier. It will take time and work. Your bully will see that they no longer have the hold on you and will move on.

If we confront our shadows head on, just like confronting a bully, we will grow and learn and change and recognize our own resiliency. We'll be able to stare our shadows down and not let them define who we are or what we do. Our choices determine our actions and our attitude determines our altitude. You have the power to confront any shadows that are waiting in the wings, or those that are on top of you. You've had the power to do it all along. You just need to find some courage and an arsenal.


By an arsenal, I'm not talking about weapons, per se, I'm talking about resources. Resources can come in all shapes, sizes and types. The best resources include counseling, support groups, religious gatherings (depending on your faith), and surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends. Using your arsenal of resources, you will find your strength to stand up.


In addition, we have to remember that others around us are fighting their own shadows whether we know it or not. Something we may say or do could be a trigger for that. We have to recognize that everyone deserves compassion. We all must walk our own roads and make our own choices.


I've noticed I am drawn to people with similar circumstances and experiences. If you have a friend that continues to be bogged down and succumb to shadows, tell your story of how you beat your shadows or let them know how you confront them. There is immeasurable power and healing to be found in knowing you're not alone and that someone has walked that same tough road and conquered the shadows you're still facing.


Today, I challenge you to stand up...whatever that means for you. Celebrate the small victories, and build your arsenal every day. We cannot chose our pasts, however, the future is wide open. Stand up to your shadows. Don't let any of them take away another precious minute, precious moment, precious second of your life. It is our choices that determines who we become. Fall down seven times, stand up eight. Never, never stop standing up! :)