Perfect

I once knew a woman who edited every photo of herself she posted online. No one was allowed to see an “imperfect” photo of her online. Now that she has passed away, I wonder how much time was spent touching and retouching photos and if her family wouldn’t have appreciated having a photo online that wasn’t retouched to remember her by. I wonder if they even know they were retouched and I think that it's sad that she felt the need to do that. She was naturally gorgeous without any makeup or filters.

Perfect
I've got the perfect outfit, and fantastic lighting too. I look simply stunning from my head down to my shoes.

I've filtered, and cropped, re-colored, and chopped all the parts that don't look as appealing. I've angled my head and whitened my teeth, so my smile shows just how I'm feeling.

My brown eyes were just a little too brown, so I made them the color of copper. And my best friend looked awkward enough that it simply was kinder to crop her.

I've made the sky a bit bluer and the sunshine less bright. It took dozens of shots till I found one that I liked.

I made a few changes to make myself appear thinner. Now, finally, I actually feel like a winner.

This photo is simply a better version of me. Someone I actually want you to see.

No one needs to know that I'm not quite that toned or that this is how I spend my time when I'm alone.

I take a deep breath and think of something witty to say and hope that people will think of me this way.

I watch as the likes and comments come through. I refresh and refresh for an hour or two.

The comments really validate all the work that I’ve put in. But part of me wonders if they know I’m not that thin.

Then my best friend sends me a text out of the blue. Initially all it says is: “We’re Through.”

When I ask her what she’s talking about, she sends me the photo where I cropped her out.

“Why did you take me out of your photo endeavor when I smiled beside you for what felt like forever?

My cheeks grew stiff as you tried shot after shot, giving the camera all that you’ve got.

And now that I’ve been removed from your photo, I see how you feel. I was wrong to think our friendship could ever be real.”

Her words hit me hard as I read and re-read. I don’t know why she is being so mean to me.

I watch the comments and likes go by and I tell myself she’s wrong. At least here in this virtual world, I belong.

I tell myself: “So what if she is offended?” When people are mean to me, I just un-friend them.

After my post becomes yesterday’s news, I check my friends list remember she’s been removed.

I scroll through my friend’s list and to my surprise, there are no more familiar names catching my eyes.

All the people that I actually know, I’ve either unfriended or they’ve just let me go.

The realization hits me that I no longer have friends. Don’t they realize I was doing all this for them?